Drastic Decisions:

Portugal is a place where I feel as close to my inner voice as possible. Especially at the AYA Retreat Center, sudden insights are not uncommon. The feeling that I should cut my hair came quite quickly. Hair stores energy. My path to becoming free enough to embark on such a journey was anything but easy. Many drastic, emotional, and above all, courageous decisions paved the way for Portugal. That's why I'm all the more grateful that I was not only able to simply get my hair cut, but also by an experienced shaman. Together we conjured up an entire ritual, which was so intense that I wrote a poem about it:

She cut my hair beneath the sky, and something old began to die. Not just strands upon the floor, but wounds I could not hold no more. The silent grief, the hidden pain, the fear of loss, the need to chain my soul into a smaller shape just so the world would feel less afraid. Each falling lock, a sacred release, a quiet prayer, a call for peace. The woman I had learned to be was slowly setting herself free. The past dissolved with every thread, old versions of myself lay dead. And underneath the heavy weight, my truest soul began to wake. Wild like fire, soft like rain, a heart still whole beneath the pain. No longer trapped in who I’d been, I felt my real life slowly begin. Now when the wind moves through my hair, I feel the spirit lingering there. A whispered truth, both fierce and kind: You had to lose yourself to finally find the soul that waited there the whole damn time. 🐦‍🔥